I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
