Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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