9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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