I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
either way he was missing a nipple.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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