my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
