if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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