I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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