I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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