to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
