You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
