there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
