Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
