Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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