Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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