I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
