where am i from again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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