I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
