Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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