she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
