I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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