So drunk its hurt
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
