It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
