You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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