im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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