My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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