I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
