Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
