Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
