he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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