He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
