I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
