too bad you live with your parents still
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
