I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You may now shotgun with the bride
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
