Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
