using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
