Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't turn off my feet"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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