He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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