Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
