Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I skipped work to stalk him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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