HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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