she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
