Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
