Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
