i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
