she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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