wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
