this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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