I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
