I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
