Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize