I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
