She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
