nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
