lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
