Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
