new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
