he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He? As in you personified your dick?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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