This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
