Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
