That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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