I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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