After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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