I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
