I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
