I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
