I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
